Math is Fun, Pap (Drivel)

Completing the Square by Yochanan Neanderthalensis

Editors Note:  This is the smartest man I know. 

Completing the Square by Yochanan Neanderthalensis

I posted this as a Note because most people will think it’s boring and not fun. 

Whenever I yell about how dumb SOME PEOPLE are, I say, “… he couldn’t even complete the square.” I recently saw a car parked in the lot of a biker bar and it had a bumper sticker that said Algebra Academy. I walked in the bar and since I do love algebra, I scanned the room looking for the most logical Algebra Academy suspect. In the corner I saw a middle aged Asian woman having a beer with an old man. At the risk of sounding “racist” in this hyper-sensitive politically correct modern world, my first thought was, “Ah ha! It’s her.” I ordered a taco (on Thursday they are called thacos either because it’s Thursday or people are too drunk to say taco and Thursday means its almost Friday which is a good reason to drink). After ordering my tacos I put some money in the jukebox and played some old bluesy stuff (Dorothy Moore, T Bone Walker, etc). When Stormy Monday by Bobby “Blue” Bland started playing, that woman walked to the jukebox to see who it was. I’m sure Stormy Monday is way before her time. As she walked by my table she said, “I love the music you play and was curious who it is.” I said, “Oh, it’s Stormy Monday by Bobby Blue Bland. Late 50’s or early 60’s. Oh by the way, are you the one with the Algebra Academy bumper sticker?” She said, “Yes. My daughter was in the GATE program and they had the Algebra Academy.” I said, “That’s interesting, so was my son. You know whenever I think people are stupid I sometimes say, ‘he couldn’t even complete the square.’” She said, “Oh, that’s funny. I remember learning it from my daughter but I doubt if I remember how to do it now.”    

So, without further adieu, I wrote this little ditty about completing the square:

Click to access CompletingtheSquareRev1.pdf